Life Help For Millennials: An Advisory Poem

 

Hey you, yes you young’n
You millennial
I’ve got some advice
For your wretched young soul

I’m older and wiser
And better than you
That’s right, I’ve a word
To give you a clue

You must travel the world
Take in every sight
But don’t blame the airlines
Who overbook your flight

Follow your dreams
You just have this one life
But don’t waste your time
If the money is tight

 

A house is a purchase
To make when you’re ready
Buy a home now!
Or you’ll never be steady

You’re just immature
Don’t have kids right now
Why aren’t you pregnant?
Your time’s running out!

A good job’s what you need
And college will bring it
All that debt you accrued?
Your fault, shoulda winged it!

Any old job will do
I started minimum wage
It doesn’t pay the bills?
Wasn’t meant for your age!

 

Buying coffee and toast
Not napkins and gold
Help the rich to get richer
And do what you’re told!

You’re entitled and selfish
Wanting a silly long list
Of things I never wanted
(Cause they didn’t exist)

Please let me lament
To the end of my days
How much I can’t stand
Your peculiar ways

Spoiled and selfish
How can it be?
Who was it that raised you?
Oh wait

That was me